| whatever~
blah~
goal from David: 95 lbs
goal from me : 90 lbs..
hmm can i do it?
yes i can
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| I really don't know what to do anymore.
I don't understand why i can't just go over to my bf's house wheneve I want to?
Why do my parents have to be such asses?
I mean, even my brother can take his gf home, so why does it matter if i can't go to my bf's house?
wouldn't it be the same thing?
they'd trust their own son when he's like the most perverted person in the whole world, rather than my bf who's responsible and caring.
I can't solve this problem. Whenever i go over to david's house, i'd have to either make up an excuse or say that i am at work .
I really wish i could just tell them that i wanan go to his house and that i have been there.
i mean what are they gonna do? try to break us apart? !no! of course not.
but i need help.. this is the only place i can express myself..
yet i can't get anyone's help because i don't really think anyone can help me.
i just wanna be able to go anywhere whenever i want to.
i mean i am in college, and i am soon to be 19.
i am probably the only one who can't just go out w/o telling my parents.
God.. why do You have to make me so weak right now?
can't You help me?
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| lovely lovely summer has come
and i wanna try to look sexy for my lg~XD
here i come!! 3 more weeks and i'll tell u guys the result =]
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| today. i was in the most depressing mood ever...
i..tried to cut my wrist... for the first time. i was actually dumping the trash at work
and i had a blade with me cuz i need to cut the boxes...but when i saw it... it went over to my wrist.
right when i tried to cut... david's face came to my mind...
all i could think was .."i can't die. i still wanna be with him. i wanna enjoy the time that i am with him... i can't just cut myself and die.." idk.. i think i am crazy.. or maybe just depressed for some reason.
i feel like i can't express myself to anyone anymore.. definitely not my parents because they are the reason why i wanted to cut myself.. not any of my friends because they don't know the exact situation that i am in right now. what can i do? when will my parents be more understanding? i wanan do whatever i wanna do. God...please.
I drove home crying tonight cuz i've been holding it for the longest time of my life. i wish my parents could go away. I feel like i never ever wanna see them again...
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| God, i need your strengths right now. Please ..just a little more faith and a little more power..and i am sure everything will be fine..
最近~i realized that lg hasn't been patient with me, but maybe it's b/c he's stressed out about work, school, and perhaps my parents. What can I do to help him?
He asked me if i think he's a bad boyfriend. of course not. To me, no one else could be more perfect to me. I just wish he'd know that.
only You'd know how much I care and love wei wei. Only You'd know how much this relationship means to me. I want to work everything out and i will never give up on keeping this relationship going. I willl do anything to ensure that. IT's this fear that came from my heart when he said he's not as caring lately. He said don't worry about it because it may just be a little bit of everything. But how could i not worry? What if i said that to him? will he feel the same as I do now? Does not caring mean don't love me as much anymore? and tired of me? I must've done something...maybe it's because i've been a ^&#$ when he talks about how i need to tone up.. but i know it's the truth. So i am working on that right now.. i i don't want him to think i am working out hard because of what he said. I've been wanting to lose some more weight and look good...he's is just part of my motivation, that's all. oh my dear Lord, please give me all your blessings and help me go through this. Hope everything will be ok after the finals tomorrow. Maybe he'll feel better about everything after finals...Please, help me to be stronger and just give me more strengths Lord...
I love him.. and i love You too...
請救救我吧....
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